Curls, Ten Pounds and Millions

While some people really will never change, I think most of us do as we become more worldly. (My personal euphemism for getting older!) There comes a point in our lives when our ideas, circumstances and goals undergo a fundamental revamping- both physically and emotionally. A popular term to express this transformation is “having a mid-life crisis” for men or “their change” for women. I don’t like either phrase because they label the change and growth of a person as a crisis, which is generally seen as a negative event. My metamorphous hit me at 50. I felt tied down by thick ropes of daily strife and conflict and followed a plan to evolve. The end of an unhappy marriage, perfect children flying the coop and the embracing of a new career brought me screaming, kicking and laughing into my present. What did I change my mind about that freed me to get happier, more content and calmer? First, I embraced my wild curly hair. I have been trying to tame it, straighten it and change it my whole life. Why? I surrendered and this daily struggle is gone forever! Second, I have forgiven myself ten pounds. I have watched the scale go from 100 in 1984 to a highly guarded figure in 2013. While there is always room for improvement and cutting down some pounds, I have recalibrated my idea of my personal fat weight. I’ll use multiple excuses of age, hormones, family history, ANYTHING to make this approach acceptable to my ever critical eye and mind. In other words, I now feel I have to lose ten pounds, not twenty, to feel just right. How freeing and much easier to achieve! Third, I have come to terms with the fact that short of winning the Powerball I am unlikely to achieve a personal portfolio worth hundreds of millions of dollars. I have become ok with this. When we are young, we dream of big things and being filthy rich is a common one. I work really hard and still sometimes feel the sting and struggle of juggling being a single woman 100% responsible for myself, the cold hard facts of college tuition and my kid’s expenses, and the ever more elusive end date of me working and becoming retired. Being realistic but always optimistic financially, balances my dreams of riches with my acceptance of my place in the world and puts money matters in perspective for me. I used to think that taking the path of least resistance was for lazy or uninspired folks. In the above stories of coming to terms with some of my challenges, I tried to share how I now believe that the path of least resistance – not struggling so hard to achieve less important goals, can actually be quite liberating and can provide you with more energy, enthusiasm and time to put toward goals that really matter to you.