There is no question that divorce frequently rocks the foundation of a family to its core. From that place though, in time, healing and growth emerge.
Over the years, I have witnessed many earthquakes in my clients’ lives brought on by affairs, financial dishonesty, substance abuse and other marital calamities. I have reached out to clients who feel broken, betrayed and alone.
There are times when my lawyer hat gets put aside, and I just listen.
Thereafter, I offer a referral to a trusted mental health professional to manage, guide and assist the injured party. On many occasions, a client and their family members, have not yet had the benefit of careful counseling. Often the children have been in need, as well as the parents, of having a sounding board and a caring shoulder to lean on as the divorce unfolds.
There’s a saying that “your divorce follows the pattern of your marriage.” Was there yelling? Stony silence? A failure to communicate or an unbridgeable gap between you and your partner?
Experience tells me that introducing and encouraging a family in need to seek counseling can break old patterns and open new paths of communication for every member.
Having gained insight through counseling, clients gradually come to a place of acceptance. The children find their voice and parents can really hear them.
In cases where divorce is inevitable, emotional sharing and honest exchanges in a safe environment can truly cause a vital shift within a family’s dynamics. Hopefully, it will also bring the promise of better balanced relationships and hope for a brighter future.
Although divorce is difficult, it can be a catalyst that brings healthy change to a struggling family.